Cancel Your Membership in the Moan and Groan Club.

LJW
Feb 6, 2023
3 min read

Updated: Oct 20

Most of us don't realize we're already members of this club. Life has a way of signing us up without asking. Maybe it was a medical diagnosis that changed everything. Maybe it was a divorce that left us anxious and unsure. Perhaps it's a disappointment with our kids, our work, or even ourselves. Because of these life events, it could be we've just drifted into boredom or lost our spark.

How Do You Process the Hard Stuff?

When life gets tough, how do you respond?

If you find yourself replaying complaints in your head and sharing them with anyone who will listen, you're not alone. But this pattern is sneaky and quietly drains your joy. Friends, or your kids, get weary of hearing about it.

The good news? You can change it.

You Gotta Wanna

Change begins with desire. If your motivation to change sits around a 3 on a scale of 1-10, change is not likely to happen. But if it's above a 5, there's hope. Motivation at an 8 or higher on that scale is an indicator that you're ready for the work it will take for lasting change.

Be honest with yourself with this question. "How much do I want to change?" Recognizing and rating your desire level helps you see whether you need to strengthen your motivation before jumping in.

How would you answer these questions?

What will my life look like if I make this change?

What will it look like if I don't?

Who else will be affected by me changing in this way?

What's stopping me or standing in the way of changing my moaning and groaning?

What kind of support do I need to sustained effort?

Small Steps Work Best

Let's say you want to start walking for exercise. Your motivation is at a 6, even though you like the idea. Day 1 is great. Day 2, not so much. Day 3, you're back on the couch wondering why you even tried.

Instead of the perfection of 7 out of 7 days, start small. Once 2 to 3 times a week becomes more of a habit, you can increase it. Build the momentum, of any change, slowly. Real change grows from consistency, not intensity.

Gratitude Changes Everything

One powerful antidote to moaning and groaning is gratitude. It shifts your focus from what's wrong to what's right.

Try starting your day naming three things you're very thankful for. It could be a kind word, a good cup of coffee, or the strength to get up and try again.

Gratitude isn't about ignoring hardship. It can be about facing it head on and giving yourself small encouragements along the way.

Over time, gratitude lightens your mood and helps you notice beauty where frustration, moaning and groaning used to be.

Find Strength in Community

Change doesn't happen alone. We need people who remind us of who we want to be. Find a friend or a coach who can gently keep you accountable. This needs to be someone who will celebrate your progress and help you refocus when you slip back into old habits. Keep in mind this could put a strain on friendships. A life coach is a non-biased person out of your friend circle, who can give you the courage you need to keep going.

Community strengthens commitment. Being part of a class where others look for you, or are aware if you miss, helps you keep going. When you're ready, sharing your goal with someone can keep it more real.

Connection is powerful medicine. Spend time with others who lift you up. Their positivity invigorates and inspires you.

Time to Cancel Your Moan and Groan Membership

Think about the opposite of moaning and groaning. It's waking up with a new outlook. Challenges are still there, but your response has changed. There's possibilities instead of obstacles. Small joys and everyday happiness is a normal part of an ordinary day. Friends notice. Family can tell. You feel lighter, calmer, and most of all, grateful.

It's time for life to feel a bit brighter. Do the work, then go ahead and cancel that membership in the Moan and Groan Club!