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  • Writer's pictureLJW

Are You Comfortably Stuck Where You Don't Want to Be?

Time To Break Free.

What are you getting out of feeling stuck? It’s serving you somehow. When I stayed in an unsatisfying controlling relationship, what was I getting out of it? Financial stability was one, as he made most of the money. My pride was another. I couldn’t face a failed relationship as it meant I was a failure. I had decided to marry this man and my stubbornness kept me stuck. The biggest one of all, fear…of anything and everything unknown. I was miserable but I had become small through his constant demeaning behavior. Change looked too hard and I felt too weak so opting to stay with the same old, same old is what happened for much longer than it should have.

What are you getting out of being stuck in your old ways, harmful relationships, or habits? If you are a hoarder (even a little bit), perhaps having control over stuff, helps you feel better. If you are a smoker, it’s become your habit and a comfort to smoke, so giving it up feels wrong. There’s something you are getting out of every negative habit, relationship, or lifestyle that keeps you stuck right there. Think it through and find what this is for you. Answers to this might not be pretty.

  1. Once you find an answer, weigh it against what you’ll get when letting it go.

  2. Rate how much you want this change, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 meaning you will go through whatever it takes to make the change. Anything rated above an 8 is doable.

  3. Break the task, or event, into small segments. Take it slow, do one at a time.

  4. Step through the invisible barrier holding you in place. Is it fear, the comfort of being stuck, or money concerns? Break the barrier down with an action step. Nothing changes without action. Think baby steps here. Maybe you need to find out information, speak up for yourself, or squirrel away some money to do the opposite of what you are stuck in. In my case, I had to rent a U-Haul truck and leave. It was the best decision of my life.

Think about this quote by Tony Robbins. “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” Have you reached this point yet? Do you need to wait until you feel the pain is so great? Can you budge out of the comfort zone that keeps you stuck now?

If you need outside help to find the courage you need, then seek it out. Through your church, your friends, a therapist, or a life coach, you can become stronger. My sister gave me a book that totally changed my backbone. It’s called, “Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting,” By Lynn Grabhorn. This helped me get my mind wrapped around making a big change and sticking to it. Books, quotes, and encouragement is very helpful!

Time is passing by quickly. Do the change now. Break out of the old habit, the bad relationship, the negative thinking. You can do this, and it’s time.

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