Why Can't I Sleep?

Another Sleepless Night

There it is again…the glowing clock in the dark.

1:43 a.m.

Then 2:17.

Then 3:06.

Your body is tired, but your mind has other plans.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, Why can’t I sleep? you’re far from alone. Many people struggle with restless nights, racing thoughts, and the frustration of wanting sleep so badly that sleep is even harder to find.

The truth is, sleep is not always about being tired. Sometimes it is about feeling safe, calm, and at peace enough to let go of the events of the day.

Everyday, we carry responsibilities, conversations, worries, and pressure. We push through stress without realizing how much we’re holding. Then nighttime arrives. The world gets quiet. There are no distractions left. Suddenly, everything we tucked away during the day comes knocking at the door of our mind.

Sleeplessness can be caused by simple things like too much caffeine, too much screen time, irregular schedules, or lack of exercise during the day. Perhaps we’ve forgotten that our body has a rhythm that begins with exposure to morning light.  We can suffer from emotional stress, grief, loneliness, uncertainty, or that darn habit of overthinking.  

Overthinking is my culprit.  I’ve found that I process the day when my head hits the pillow.  If there’s anything even a bit concerning that happened during the day, there it is at night, replaying itself again and again.  Eyes wide open, thoughts running amuck in my head.  Ironically enough, after all of that, I shift to actually worrying about not sleeping.  When I think, I have to fall asleep, the more pressure I create. My body often responds to pressure by staying alert.  When I pause thoughts long enough to take note, I’m genuinely surprised my muscles are so tense, which of course makes falling asleep almost impossible! One of my clients shared what helps his body relax is to think, “sink into my soft bed.”  I’ve tried that thought and notice my body begins to ease and sink comfortably into the bed, rather than lay there with tense muscles.  

Here’s a few tips to try.  Begin gently.  One of the most powerful ways to restore rhythm and regulate our body clock is through allowing the simple exposure to sunlight first thing in your morning. Then, try to create a softer landing for your evenings. Dim the lights earlier. Turn off the news. Put the phone aside. Read something calming. Take a warm shower. Write your worries on paper and remind yourself, “that’s tomorrow’s problem.” 

Try speaking kindly to yourself.  Instead of saying, why can’t I sleep, try saying a few reminder words like, “relax,” “sink into bed,” or, “you can fall asleep now.” I often remind myself of my favorite quote from Louise Hay, “All is well, everything turns out for my highest good, and I’m safe.”

Slow breathing is helpful. First, exhale the tension, then inhale thoughts of peace. Remind yourself that even though nothing replaces deep sleep, resting quietly still has value.  It also helps to remember that one bad night does not predict the next one. Many people fear they’ll never sleep again after a rough night, but sleep often returns when we stop chasing it so hard.

To learn more about sunlight and it’s profound affect on our sleep and general overall health, please click this link to read an excellent article from Embody Health and Performance located at The Marsh, Sunlight and the Nervous System.

If sleep struggles continue for a long time, it may be wise to speak with a healthcare professional. Sometimes there are physical or emotional factors worth exploring.  It’s a big help to talk with someone about the worry weighing on you the most. 

As you sleepless readers know, the subject of a getting a good night’s sleep is complicated!  But tonight, know this:

You are not broken because you cannot sleep.

You are human.

You may simply have a mind that needs soothing, a body that needs gentleness, or a heart carrying too much.

Please don't carry a heavy heart too long. Courage Daily Life Coaching will help you balance life stress, encourage inner happiness, and lighten the emotional load.

Contact Linda Ward at https://www.couragedaily.com/contact